Excuse letter for not coming to school on Friday, 23th Oct 2009:

--

Dear Mr De Souza,

Throughout history, there have been many plagues of illnesses. Examples of such illnesses include the bubonic plaque. Closer to home, we have had SARS, and most recently the H1N1 flu outbreak. As a Biology teacher, I'm pretty sure you're well-versed in this area.

I was also witness to an incident like this. Recently, just last week, my mum's brother's only sister's second daughter fell sick. It was a period of emotional turmoil for me.

It all started when on a Thursday night, I received a phone call from my uncle. He informed me that his sister's second daughter had been terribly ill. My heart immediately stopped beating. I was sure I was going to drop dead any second, I was that shocked. Luckily though, nothing of that sort happened, or I would not be writing this to you now. I immediately rushed to her house to see her.

I was terrified like crazy for her well-being. She has been vital to me for my whole life. She is the only girl who knows everything about me. She was one gifted person, blessed with great intelligence, charisma and beauty. Both of us shared a bond that transcended life and death, we were that close. And now, I was just so distraught at her condition. My mind just stopped working upon the sight of her lying weakly down on her bed. She moaned my name quietly. "Vicky...I just want to say, you'll always be my best friend." Just then, however, I had to leave, for it was time for her vaccinations.

When I got home, I confess that I did not even think of school the next day. My mind was too fixated with what would become of my dear best friend, who was truly my sister in learning and sister at heart. I was just so worried for her well-being. The next day, I woke up at around 10.30am and I looked into the mirror as usual and I realised that my eyes were completely red. Upon examination of the pillow, I figured out that I had been crying in my sleep. Such was the bond that I shared with my best friend.

My conscience told me not go to school that day. A sister of the truest form is definitely more important than a day roaming the concrete school compound. After much consideration, I came to a tough decision to listen to my conscience and very reluctantly did not attend school that day.

I am very sorry for my absence on Friday, 23 October 2009. I am sure that my nonexistence was strongly felt in school and that you missed my vivacious personality and natural charisma greatly. Hence, I hope that you will excuse me from school on that fateful day.

Oh and before I end off, just for your information: my uncle's sister's daughter made it through. She is now on a steady road to recovery and is still my best friend as ever.

Thank you so much for being understanding of my situation. May you be always blessed for having the goodness to excuse me from school in times of emotional trauma.

Best Regards,
Vicky

--

:D

GAHHH.
Seriously, this year's Deepavali timing is just wrong.
So many people are like emo, not even able to celebrate it happily and joyously as always.
Right smack after the exams.
No anticipation, no excitement.

WHY CAN'T IE BE ON THE DATE IT WAS PREVIOUSLY PLANNED!
like on 17 NOV
at least it's during the hols, and like it's into the mood and all.

but at least this was the year i worked my ass off.

okay this im in such a ranting mood.

15 more mins.
I wonder, :D or D: or ._.

Hello world.
It's 3.52am now, on 12 October 2009.
In like 9 hours time, my last EYAs in RG would have been over!
Let me ratttle on formulas in my own world, to please myself. (:

Waves & Sound
V = frequency x wavelength
V = wavelength/T
f = 1/T
Speed of sound (echo) = 2(Distance travelled)/Total time taken

Newton's Law
When velocity is constant, Fnet = 0 --> acceleration = 0
When not constant, Fnet not = 0 --> acceleration not = 0
Fnet > 0, accelearation > 0
Fnet < 0, acceleration < 0 Kinematics: Displacement-time graph --> Gradient: Velocity
Velocity-time graph --> Gradient: Acceleration
Acceleration-time graph

Equations:
S = 1/2 (u+v)t
V = u + at
S = ut + 1/2at^2
V^2 = u^2 + 2as

Free Fall
Fnet = mg

Non-free fall
Fnet = mg - R

Air resistance affected by:
1) SA -> When SA increase, AR increase
2) V -> When V increase, AR increase

WEP
Work Done: Force x Displacement / mgh (J)
Ek = 1/2mV^2 (J)
Ep = mgh (J)
Work-Energy relationship: Work done --> must have energy converted.
Close system: Total amount of energy remains same before and after work done

Power
1) Energy converted/Time
2) Work Done/Time
3) Force x Displacement/Time
4) Force x Velocity(has to be constant)

% Efficiency
(Energy/Work/Power output) / (Energy/Work/Power output) x 100%

CG & Moment
Moment = Force x (Perpendicular) Displacement
Equilibrium:
1) Clockwise moment = Anti-clockwise moment
2) Upward force = Downward force
Uniform: CG acts through middle
Light: Weight is negligible

Optics
From optically less dense to denser --> Bends towards normal. angle i > angle r, when incident along normal, no refraction though speed decreases.
From optically denser to less dense --> Bends away from normal. angle i < angle r, when incident along normal, no refraction though speed increases. Critical angle --> angle of incidence in denser medium that causes angle of refraction in less dense medium to be 90 deg

TIR: 1) optically denser to less dense. 2) angle i > critical angle

Refractive index
1) n = sin i/sin r--> i is always optically less dense medium
2) n = actual depth/apparent depth
3) n = 1/sin c

Below critical angle --> Have REFRACTION
Above critical angle --> Have REFLECTION

--

WOOHOO I FEEL MORE CONFIDENT NOW.
45 mins of mugging left.
Seeya later!
(:

I think there's something wrong with me.
I'm really getting really very annoyed easily these days.
ARGHH!

This morning, it was about The Family
Then now, it is about how people can have all the time in the world to have fun, and yet ace their exams.
Or maybe it's just the aftereffects of mugging Physics for too long.
Or maybe it's just me trying to find excuses.

It's really demoralising that when I attempt the questions in the End-Of-Unit Exercise, I get it all wrong.
NOT EVEN A SINGLE CORRECT ANSWER.
DAMN YOU, TURNING EFFECT.
And the best part, I still don't know how come the correct answer is such.
What more, when I ask around whether the EOU is difficult (or is it just me), people claim it's relatively EASY.
what the shit man!
Omg, I must be really dumb.
How did I even get to RGS?!
GOSH.

Okay this is such a meaningless post.
Piece of incoherent crap.
But do I look like I care?
NO.

Adapted from an excuse letter that Vicky is gonna produce to her FT when she returns back to school on Tuesday.

"Dear Mr De Souza,

Humans are not perfect beings. As you know, the innately selfish nature of human beings has led to disagreements at every level, leading from mere difference of opinions to full-blown war. Such one-sided disagreements also exist in common familial units. Often, though, these "disagreements" are not actually disagreements, but mere quarrels due to the entire fault of one party, oftentimes in which the underlying factor for the disagreements are overlooked.

It all started on a fine Sunday night. Being the conscientious Biology student I am, I was revising my Biology notes for the 22nd time that day. I was calmly and quietly using the computer checking out Moodle andthe Berkeley Evolution 101 website awhen my brat of a younger sister came up to me and pulled my hair. I was super annoyed and asked her why she did that. She then proceeded to throw a tantrum because she did not understand her Integrated Science notes. I then explained to her very calmly and patiently what her notes meant, having been taught by the great Mr De Souza. After what seemed like eons, she finally understood. But being jealous of being deprived the chance to be a student of yours, she wasn't a singly ounce thankful to me! She slapped me on the face, which hurt so much that I decided to stay home from school today to avoid speculations. Due to the presence of 1800 girls and no boys, gossip is a widely-indulged-in pastime in RGS, and I would not want anyone to think that my boyfriend was abusing me.

I hope you understand my situation, but at this junction, I must reiterate that this was not my fault. The fault lies in the incompetency, for whatever reason, for the rest of the Biology department. Perhaps, this may not even be incompetency but just that any small flaw in their teaching style is magnified a thousand times when compared to your brilliant teaching abilities. Wait a moment, brilliant is an understatement. Words cannot describe the greatness of your teaching skills. See, yet again I failed at doing so.

All in all, I hope you will excuse me from my absence from school on the 5th of October, 2009. This is because it was not my fault, but of that of the biology department and your greatness. In my appreciation for your greatness, and also to make up for my deeply-felt absence on your behalf, I would like to inform you that if it were in my hands, I would nominate you for the Nobel Prize in Biology. For after all, what contribution to science is greater than ensuring its perpetuation and lighting the spark of curiosity in the future of tomorrow?

That being said, your colleagues also deserve a Nobel Prize - but the Ig Nobel Prize, not the "real deal". Perhaps, upon reception of this mockery of science, they would realise the great psychological impact of their teachings on their students (as can be seen by my sister's sad situation) and aspire to replicate your style perfectly.

I wish you a very happy invigilating and even happier marking days. It pains my heart that while us students will be resting at home, you will be marking dozens of scripts. However, I am helpless to change this situation, so I can only hope that with your optimistic nature, you manage to find a bright side in this too.

Have a great day ahead!

Cheers,
Darwin's descendant,
Vicky

PS: No offense to any party or whatsoever is intended."


OMG HAHA, KINNARI, YOU'RE DAMN HILARIOUS LUH!(:

Three words that have made it up to my SUCKtitude list as of today:
1) Housework
2) Sick
3) DAD

This pretty much sums up my day.

I better buck up my Bio and Geog.

XOXO,
vicky

okay so another day's up.
and nothing has been done ><
focus vicky, focus!
just 9 more dayssss!

didn't get to see mummy today ):
was supposed to go in the evening, but dad couldn't drop me as it was raining.
came back home.
oh well.
at least she's back home tomorrow!
thanks alot, God! <3

had a chat with Nisha this afternoon
well about stuff.
thought through quite abit of things and all.
wanted to copy paste bits of the convo, but can't retrieve history unless Nisha's online.
oh well, some other time then(:

it's like y'know exams seem so insignificant.
after all what's the point of exams?
grades? are they the real things that matter?
and we're living in this world, where we grow up with the impression that grades are the only things that matter.
when the REAL world outside isn't like that.
in reality, it's full of cruelty and injustice.
full of hatred and vengeance.
full of unfairness and anger.
full of this, full of that.
while we, on the other hand, are sitting at the other end with the impression that as long as I mug my ass off and ace that exams and do well in this and that, I'm guaranteed a great future.
seriously, what a delusion.

wanted to post something here.

" I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school.
They don’t teach you how to love somebody.
They don’t teach you how to be famous.
They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor.
They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer.
They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind.
They don’t teach you what to say to somomeone who’s dying.
They don’t teach you anything worth knowing. "
— Neil Gaiman

how true.
and I just had something else to add on to the list.
They don't teach you what the REAL world is like

peace out.

Labels: Nisha, thoughts

I thank god for letting me live through another day, seeing another morning(:

& I need to focus and get my drive back
and get work done.
If not for me, for you at least(:

Come on Vicky, STOP sleeping, and get down to work.

school was okay today
english was surprisingly easy. okay I should not be too complacent, hopefully I pass(:
tamil was HAHA. omg so much for aiming for a 50/70 huh! All I remember was a loud heave of WHATTHEHELL the moment I flipped over the paper.
And random scribblings and doodlings of WHATTHESHIT, HOWAMIGONNADOTHIS, GRR, *frowny face*, etcetc
but well, what is over is over. I managed to crap something, so thank God for that ability haha(:

after school was HILARIOUS ttm! Crapped with alanna, crystal, jiahui, limmin and ABI outside Anderson's for a really long time.
sorry Abi, we were just playing around and teasing you(:
hope you dont take it to heart and be mad at us!
it was fun though xP

went to find kanages after school, fetched her and we went to alexandra together.
at the bus stop met ain
was just crapping lotsa stuff with her
hopped off commonwealth
dropped by queensway shopping centre for lunch!
couldnt finish most of it, so packed it to alexandra.

when we reached there, mummy had already left for her op.
kinda sad, we weren't there to send her to the OT.
kanages koped the sofa, I took the BED!
called art, updated her and talked to her a while.
haha I was in this totally mugger mindset to do Chem and all
but in the end, end up lying on the bed, shaking leg and watching tv!
not bad eh our local dramas x)

haha then the nurse chased me off the bed.
I dragged another sofa and fell asleep.
not even half an hour, mummy was back!
op was fine, thank god for it.
mummy looked really tired though.
her whole leg is in a brace.
hope she gets well soon!

her friends came to visit her, and they were just crapping.
haha their crap talks are actually very entertaining!
so I didnt get to do chem as well!
dinner came, mum was nauseous.
she gave dinner to me and kanages.
claypot chicken rice!
but we were really full, we were stuffing ourselves.

haha finally in the evening got to do some chem
did abit of atomic structure.
it was fine.
tidied the place abit and left at about 8.30+
when mummy's ward staff all dropped by to visit her.

I'm really glad mummy's recovering!
Very soon she'd be back home, can't wait!
Hope all goes fine, and she doesn't experience much pain after the numbness is gone.
Take care mummy!
We all love you!

And you take care too Nisha!
Everything will be all right, don't worry(:


Sometimes I wish I could save you
There is so many things I want you to know;

Labels: exams, mummy, Nisha

okay so it's the eya period again.
the stressful period of the year.
and whattheshit I haven't even done proper mugging or studying for any of the subjects.
doesn't help that my chem notes (the only subject where I completed notes for) got misplaced ):

and just when it's the time of the year when everything seems so stressful
and life seems to be sucking big time,
and when you are questioning what you are doing with your life
aarthi's and my telepathy communicated with each other
and we came up with a plan for an awesome project.
it's so gonna materialise.
the will is there, we just needa figure out the way.
which I'm fully confident we'd be able to!

can't wait for these dates.
12 oct
17 oct
19 oct
go figure why(:

& I really hope I find my chem notes.

(made a resolve to commence blogging(:)

Labels: Aarthi

I was reflecting about the many things happening in my life now. And I realised something. Amidst all these, I'm so contented with my life now.

And I really have to owe a great deal of it to God, the great. God has been really nice to me these days and all. He has shown me Himself, His true existence, through many of his works and the miracles he has worked these days.

He's too great, His love overcomes all the odds. I ask, He gives. He gives generously. So much so that I feel undeserving of what I receive from Him.

God has a reason for doing everything He does. He has a reason for you making the decisions and choices that you do. And sometimes, even He has a reason why you may not know of the reason. But what that really matters is the faith in God. Whatever that happens will be for good, just as long as the belief, trust and confidence is placed in God without any questions.

Well, for now, I guess I'd serve God to the best of my ability, and carry out His will for me. He has brought me to it, He definitely will bring me through it.

Praise the Lord!

♥

I'm so glad and thankful of what God has given to me this life. An awesome family, friends, peers, etcetc.

But sometimes, I wish I have a grandfather around;

Just some thoughts about things that have been happening recently.

--

In one of the RARE intellectual conversations I actually have with Nisha:

Take me back to the start; says:
I realised that sometimes you need to place trust in your decision, you need to place confidence/trust in yourself when you decide something.

Take me back to the start; says:
often we always question and that's what that makes us confused. haha i recently had to make decisions on what to do next and all, but i think it's very important to believe and trust yourself first before doing anythg else.

Take me back to the start; says:
and i realise i lack that resolve, that's why i end up confused.

Take me back to the start; says:
but really

Take me back to the start; says:
we question ourselves too much, you know why? cos we dont believe fully in what we do

nisha says:
haha, but thats good

nisha says:
its like criticising your own ideas to find faults and then improve

nisha says:
we question, then we find solutions

Take me back to the start; says:
yeah but there's an extent. there needs to be a line in between questioning and believing - having trust and confidence. cos if you question too much, things will definitely contradict, it'd be challenging sticking to a single decision

Take me back to the start; says:
that's what i feel

--

Yep I guess that pretty much sums one of the many things that I've been realising lately.

I'd like to end this post with something ABI told me; Those simple words had such great impact and made me think alot of things in a different way.

Everything is okay in the end; If it's not okay, then it's not the end.

Labels: Nisha, thoughts

the only reason i'm here is cos of my dear friend, art!

aarthi, you seriously be touched okay(:

haha okay moving on, this week has been such an awesomezx mainly cos of the TRIPLE RAFFLESIAN VICTORY WHOO!~

1st Victory: RG IND'S AWESOME SYF GOLD WITH HONOURS!
2nd Victory: RJ IND'S SUPERB SYF GOLD WITH HONOURS!
3rd Victory: Sorsilambum Tamil Debate, Team RJC'S CHAMPIONS!

haha raffles is so awesome(: we fight well, we win well!

well, the next thing that's about to rock the show is, RG INO'S SYF! (: go ino, we can totally do this!

we'll fight in the sun, we'll fight in the rain;
we'll fight to give our school a name;

RAFFLES <3

okay whee here I am!

an update about my life! yeah i'm alive (and kicking) with so many happenings happened ever since my last update at the start of the year! Sec 3's been awesome, especially with me turning 15 and all!

like i was thinking a few days back, right now my life's so perfect that there's nothing more i could possibly ask!

i've been bleesed with so many subtle small fulfilling pleasures in life: great school, great class, great friends, great teachers, great family, great God!

you know sometimes, when everything else seems to screw up, after a while you realise that it is meant to be the way it is.

it is meant to be for me to be born into such an awesome family with great dad, mum and 2 really lovely sisters!
it is meant to be for me to have had an awesome 6 years in primary school and continue the next phase of my education in rgs
it is meant to be for me to have forged great awesome friendships here in rgs, to have friends who really care
it is meant to be for me to have joined an awesome board (PSB) and learn so many things about me, about myself through my service to the school in this avenue
it is meant to be for me to have a really good friend (who practically knows every single detail of my life) to stay up, keep me company while webcamming online. (NISHA, THIS IS FOR YOU, BE TOUCHED)
it is meant to be for me to have met the four awesome people in my life (YES THE THREE OF YOU, you know who you are!), especially since we only knew each other like since the start of Feb

when life has so many things destined, so many things that are 'meant to be', why do we even question it?

life's too short to question it or live it with any regrets.

peace out,
vicky(:

okay, now it's 2009.

Wow, that's real fast I'd say. Alot of stuff happened this year, being a mixture of ups and downs. But ah well, see the year has come to an end in a pretty good note right? (:

Dedications. Thanks to everyone, yes everybody, for sharing all those crap memories with, laughing like morons in public places, singing Christmas carols in public (haha TRIBUNE!), and most importantly for playing a vital part of my life, bringing in joy to me every other day by being by my side when I needed you'll.

Well, I hope 2009 will be an equally exciting and fulfilling year for me, as I continue venturing to horizons beyond. There'd be guaranteed to be ups AND downs, but with such awesome and wonderful people around you, definitely you'd enjoy the ups to your best, and decrease the impact of the downs by loads too!

Our Sec 2 classes are all parting ways, but it's time to make new friends and make our experience in RGS even more fruitful and worthy! I'd try to not repeat my mistakes again in 09, and learn and grow from them.

Stuff I'm looking forward to for 09(in no order of merit):

- 301'09 (Class for TWO years! I'm very excited already)
- 106'09 (I am REALLY anticipating this. All the cute little Sec Ones who we're gonna mentor and conduct PSL sessions with, while guiding them along into fitting into RG!)
- PSB'09 (YEAH, PretSeLs! I love all of you guys already, and we'd do an awesomezx job together during our PSL term, okay?)
- Tribune '09 (I know for sure we're gonna be so closely-knit, and like miranda said, a small bonded family. I'm so glad and it's so fulfilling seeing that the chalet has done wonders)
- Tribune excp '09 (hahaha these bunch of crazy people are defnitely the <3! remember our random camwhoring sessions during exco meetings and then the last-minute-chionging. We'll do an awesomezx job for 09 okay!)
- INO SYF'09 (yeah, INO is so totally awesome that we're gonna rock this SYF! :D Looking forward to the practice sessions and all before syf and all those random moments when we become high HAHA)
- ICS SHOW'09 (NIZHAL! yay Kalachitra was awesomely fun, so will this! Reliving the Kalachitra memories is definitely something I want to do!)
- VAINs study group '09 (Remember we said we wont part ways, so this MUST continue, when we mug together and slack and do crazy stuff together. Next year'll be fun as we have interesting experiences of our own that we could all share!)
- HSSRP RS group '09 (ANOTHER AWESOME GROUP! yay RS for 2 years. We'd do a really great job, okay!)
- All those fun new friends that I'd make along the way.

See, tell me, with all these exciting things ahead, how can 2009 not be a blast? x)

Anyway peeps, 30 MORE DAYS as of 1 JAN 09. Go figure it out!

i'm just praying hard that some miracle happens.

my high spirits throughout the week just vanished from the earth and beyond, and i really want to 'retrieve' it back.

please, give me back what's rightfully mine.

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?

Father father father help us
Send us some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?

-

WHERE IS THE LOVE?

60 hours
195 dead
22 foreigners
15 security personnel
5 Americans
2 French Nationals
2 Australians
2 Canadians
1 Japanese
1 German
1 British Cypriot
1 Italian
1 Thai
1 Singaporean hostage
nearly 300 injured

What have these innocent people done to incur your wrath and to satisfy your crazy devilish devour for people, for lives? What have these innocent people done so that the world can hear your malicious laughter?

Look left, look right, look everywhere. They all have one thing common : Yes, blood and dead bodies strewn all over with a sullen echo of gunshots and more gunshots.

Why, why has the value of a human's life been degraded to such a level of ruthlessness, so much so that it's being treated like a game. I play, I win. Why, why such a mindset?

Please I plead, do hear our cries, crying out loud.

-

Life is not a war game where you kill when you feel like it.

RICE: Count On Our Grains Brains!

Well, thinking and reflecting about this year, I have two words to sum it all up.

Interesting. Refreshing.

The new experiences and insights gained, the challenges faced, the tough times and the merry-making memories, they've all been interesting and refreshing.

And through all these, I'll attribute all these memories to the wonderful loving fun class of 207. We came in as people of different class sprits. I can still vividly remember the first time we stepped into E311, when we found ourselves seats, members from 107 and 108 had this what seemed invisible margin drawn in the middle of the class. Recess was unspeakable, 107ers huddled in their own corner, like wise the 108ers.

Well, let's juxtapose that to now, where we all have a common class spirit. Where we all so hate the fact that we were leaving E311, that housed us for the past year. Where we had so many fond memories together as a class. Where we all held farewells for teachers in mid-year. Where we all partied wildly during the class parties. Where we all prepared for interclass competitions and cheered our peers on. Where we all hated tearing down the class decor that has bagged us a third and stayed with us throughout the year, throughout our trials and tribulations. Where we all felt the heart-ache and hard work as we took down the stars hanging from the ceiling from La Stariesta. Where we all formed the ring of love and sang songs on the last day of school. Where we all received our progress reports for Year 2 of our Secondary school life. Where we all hugged and (some) cried when the school bell rang, signalling the end of the school term. That's a whole lot of memories, isn't it?

From the perspective of the class chairpersons of the class, I'll fully admit that 207 isn't flawless. There have been times where things just didn't seem as great as one would expect them to be. There have been times where I've gotten really pissed off with the class and all. But just as well, I can wholeheartedly also admit that I must be indeed blessed, lucky and fortunate to belong to this class of crazily fun-loving and dynamic 36 individuals. The most fond memories, loving times of my secondary school life (so far) had been mostly acquired by this very class Just like the envelope, that Ms Amanda Chong placed her little bookmarks as souvernirs and gave them to us, read:



I'll fully agree that we are indeed a class full of extroverts with MORE THAN ENOUGH energy to split atoms.

To make and mould 207 to where it is today, it is the commitment and care of every single member of the class. It is the love and reponsibility of every single member of the class. To work towards a vibrant community where we can make worthwhile of our memories here in RG. With so much care and love, the least I can possibly do is to extend my gratitude to every single individual of the class to thank them for their lovely contributions to my memory of 207. The indescribable feeling of gratitude that I have to every one of you is way more than the words that I've mentioned here.

[to be continued...]

haha, found a really cool thing! sent me laughing and seriously made my day man :D

lol obviously there are people in this world have way too much spare time! (:

DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters:
I M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE


AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

-

-

-

-

-

MOTHER-IN-LAW
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER


haha and i bet that sent you guys awestruck and laughing! :D

i feel so cheated.


i feel so gullible.


i feel so hurt.


why even the people i thought were closest to me, i cant trust?


now as i'm typing this, i cant control the tears that's just running down my cheeks.


i dont know why, i dont know what are they. tears of remorse? tears of victimisation? i wonder.


whatever it is, now it's too late.


why, why am i SO susceptible?

hello world!

my dear wonderful deskmate STACYLIANINGXUAN<3>! and I, being our normal creative, crazy selfs with totally wack imaginations, composed a song together! The first sentence was suggested by KOJIAYUN and we carried on from this sentence.

Haha, so enjoy!

PS: It doesn't have a tune yet, so any kind souls out there can possibly suggest tunes xD
PPS: Comments on tagboard are greatly appreciated

Lyrics: Vicky, Stacy
Genre: Romance
Title: Without You

I can’t live without you
For you’re there lingering in my memory
Haunting me day and night
Filling my thoughts once again
If you ever want to leave me
There I am, clutching you tight
Close to my heart

I can’t live without you
If you ever find me not hot enough
Let me tell you
I am hot enough to melt you heart
If you ever find me not cool enough
Let me tell you
I am cool enough to freeze the time I spend with you

*CHORUS
Yeah, you’re the reason I’m alive
You’re the reason that I die
You’re the sun I see at the crack of dawn
The radiant glow that illuminates my soul
You’re the star I see in the vast dark sky
Shining demurely on me, telling me yes I can
Ooooooo. I love you

I can’t live without you
I smell your presence around me
In solitary soliloquy where I dwell
There you caught my mind
There you stole my gaze
I needn’t had to look back there I knew it was you

I can’t live without you
You are the world to me
I know I was wrong, I’m sorry
I feel so empty without you
There I am, grasping some hope from the past
Hey dear, now I realize yet again
I can’t live without you

*CHORUS X2

Ooooooo. Yeahhhhhh.
Without you
Without you
Without… you

I was on my way to my home.
In the bus so bored alone.
Taking my time thinking of life.
Finding it so hard to go by.

The rain has started to flow.
Was dropping down at the window.
It was so misty and cold inside.
Again I felt so tired and sighed.

Then we had a small stop.
So I thought to have a cup of Hot tea.
While I was having its warmth.
Everything became cold by what I see.

It was a night a never forget,
Because of the sight that makes me regret.
That burns your heart and you soul.
And melts your to make tears flow.

There beside an old rugged tree.
I saw a girl with a child.
So young was she with her brother.
With a blanket of sack around like a wet feather.

I could see it clear they were trembling.
So wet were they so shivering.
It made me forget all around.
I just couldn't figure what I could do along.

I took my time go to them.
Gave them my blanket and some coins to spare.
But what made me break down at spot.
Was the stare the girl gave at a nod.

Even though rain pouring down her face.
I could see a tear flowing along the maze.
No words were need to explain why.
What made her happy that night.

I got on to my bus and saw them walk by.
Giving the coins and have some food to dine.
It gave me a happiness like never before.
And a reason to live along this fallen world along.



Sometimes, it's just time to get out of this solitary soliloquy. And care
Care for those who matter.
For there's a whole world out there full of needs and hurts.
But when is my calling?

Okay time for an update :D

So yesterday was President Charity Launch Connect Singapore. Pretty great experience i’d say. Random and spastic and retarded photos on fb, so if you’d want go see. (:

Okay i'll update more some other time. i’ve got MATH *groans*, and geog to mug. Of which none of it I’m good at.

And on a side note, i think the president is a pretty cool person. Like really really cool :D

“Mr President, would you like to take a seat”
“No, why must I sit? I want to stand. I enjoy your company."

See, now you know why he’s cool :D

and now the ultimate question being,

Do I really want to live my life the way I'm leading it now?

I'm desperately trying to look for a change in my life now. Alot of things I'm doing isnt right. Alot of things are screwed. Alot of things are wrongly prioritised. And I have this really bad habit of not sticking to my personal goals. I have this bad habit of procrastinating. I have this bad habit to slack the whole day away even though I know there's loads of things to be made right/done.

I keep saying I need the drive, I havent got the drive. But I've come to realise, how to get the drive, if I'm not searching for it, if I'm not looking for it.

I am searching for meaning, meaning of this life. Meaning for the motivation and drive to do what I've dreamt. Meaning to make dreams come true, cos in reality dreams do exist.

God, I pray to you, no matter how rocky the journey is with loads of obstacles, please give me the strength to bring me through it and carry on.

Because I really want to make a difference in the lives of the people and loved ones around me. I really want to make a difference to my own life.

KALACHITRA 08!

was a reasounding success. i dont care about what the world says, but us ics members felt that it was awesomely and undeniably a big blast.

had ino practice from 8-10am in school, where mr mani was revising the whole 4 songs again and again. but i was really thankful for the practice, cos ino sounded like really SO MUCH MORE better during the show, it was really so much better than the rehearsals where everybody looked dead.

okay so after ino, we had tech run for ino in the hall. was okay lah, and then i was slacking with my third cousin, karthigah(YEAH she IS my cousin), crapping with her and all sorts of rubbish. we were like cheering on with the rest, while the other performances went on. alot of the performance made tremendous tremendous improvements, and it was really good.

oh and karthigah was telling me about smses she received at weird times of the day. hahha it was FUNNY!

okay so, then it was lunch. KOTHU PARATA(sp?)! yay chandra! oh and milo drinks that were kept in the magnolia cooler. yeah i wasnt able to finish lunch ): oh and i went giving time-out chocolates to a couple of people, cos everybody was like stressing and emoing like the day before.

hahah, and me being the usual random me, went to pose with jessica's campaign models. hahah it was damn funny. okay so after lunch, we went up to the hall where everybody was going crazy. the song people were practicing, and everybody else joined in and was singing(out of tune-ly), dancing, being high spastic and random and SINGING HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SONGS of all things. i know we all turned crazy. and then the exco had their lunch and came in and everyone like got out of craziness.

razia, anjana and all these people were filling in coloured rice for the kuthuvilaku's decoration, while nageis, manee etc were doing the VARUGA thing in the foyer. it looked really really really great!

slacked a little, and at about 2.30, we needed to start getting to ino room for make-up and all. had briefing from razia and wala for 45mins or so. and the briefing was SO FUNNY. everybody had our screws loose, and we were behaving childishly/monkeyishly like as if we had some deprived childhood or something. and KAYALVILI, you're damn funny lah. cos while razia and wala was briefing is, kayal was giving background sound effects on the mridangam. she was moved from the mridangam to the front of the tamil room, to beside the two chairs because of her really-loosened screw and spasticness. everybody was rofling. and then we were supposed to indicate our presence, and razia was like say anything, and dharini went "AAJA NACHLE". hahahahha, and subsequently the other hindi dancers were doing so with loads of laughter in between.

okay so after the briefing, we moved to the ks chee theatre with our instruments. went to hunt for the cleanest toilet in school, but gave up and eventually landed in second floor toilet. so we washed our faces and went back to the hall to put foundation and all those make up.

yeah and so, i was on a wild-goose hunt for my sister, and then i saw MS shafali coming. hahha i think she was in a hurry or something, she didnt notice the VARUGA and accidentally stepped on the flowers. she went to the GYM, not GEEM, to see the hindi dancers and help them i think.

then it was tea! this time it was poori, but unfortunately cos they had to be packed, they were FLATTENED. so we ate flat pooris with milo again! i guess it was those milos that sustained us throughout actually! and then the hindi dancers and other performers came and joined us also, and they looked really gorgeous. oh and purnima was there also. yeah and then took some photos of people having their tea, or semi-dinner, or dinner or whatver you call it.

okay so i bought two tickets for irfanah, and her friend (who i realised just a couple of minutes ago, that irfanah's friend was AARTHI'S SECOND COUSIN! what a small small world!) yeah and so i was anticipating irfanah at the foyer, when the guests started arriving. i was really stressed cos i had to be in the ks chee already to prepare for ino's item. irfanah was caught in some traffic jam): i saw my perimma, and she reminded me that i havent worn my pottu. and i went "OMGOSH YA" and another wild-goose chase for the person in-charge for putting the pottus.

couldnt find razia, so srruthi helped me. (thanks srruthi!) yep and went back to the foyer again for more anticipation for irfanah and aarthi's second cousin. they finally came, and i stopped hyperventilating. passed the tickets to them, and went back to ks chee. it was then when i first APPRECIATED the strategical location of the ks chee, right next to the foyer.

and then the big part. THE SHOW STARTED.

in the ks chee, we got that news from a runner and that it'll be our turn in like 5 minutes to report. and so people again began hyperventialing, praying, etc etc. the veena section, us, were like revising the lines again, esp for bo shambo. okay then arthi prem came and informed us that a runner would be calling us in five minutes and everyone were all like freaking out a little. and so the runner came, and we took our instruments and went to the waiting area outside the hall. we were all like breathing in and breathing out and all, and then it was time to go backstage already. nitya was speaking then, and everybody else behind the curtains were like hugging and wishing each other good luck, praying and all. haha and then MRS SHIRLEY TAN gave a speech, that was unsurprisingly long, so we had more time to compose ourselves. then it was ino performance alr, wala and reichel introduced us and the curtains opened. i could like FEEL THE SPOTLIGHT HEAT, from where i was sitting, it was quite warm. and my mum, of all places has to sit right in front of where i was on the stage; she was seated behind nitya and ramyia who were in the first row beside mrs tan lah. okay moving on, yeah so mr mani came and we started with sarasara samarai. and bo shambo and so on. i thought ino was really really awesome, especially in bo shambo cos we havent played with this impact at all before. nitya and ramyia kept smiling at us, and i think that encouraged most of us to smile too. :D haha though pooni, shafali and all these people said our smiles look a lil forced, but it was great nevertheless.

okay so after ino performance, went to put back instruments in ino room, and rushed to gallery to enjoy the rest of the show. just in time for hindi song, which was great. and after that was AAJA NACHLE dance! go dancers, you guys really really rocked the stage and improved really loads, like alot! you guys really looked like our very own madhuri dixit : ria, stuti, aarthi, nisha, dharini, mansi, archana, aditi, kinnari. all of you. all of us were proud of you guys, and the coordination, the costumes, the energy everything was so vibrant and even some of the audience were bouncing and bobbing up and down on their seats, as we clapped to the aaja nachle beat! i esp loved the ending where all the dancers came together, cos it wasnt like that at all during rehearsals, and we were taken aback but everything still fitted together.

yeah so after the lovely awesome aaja nachle and soniye mil jaa amaglam was tamil singing. which was also quite cool and nice to tap to the beat. go singers!

and it was intermission. went to the canteen to find performers to round them up back to the gallery for curtain call at the end. haha and ended up bumping into pooni and all those people. they were talking about the effect of BO SHAMBO and how mr mani used to teach us songs in ino and all. pooni couldnt exactly finish her small vadais cos they were too maavu-ish for her and she force fed me those vadais. went to smuggle a milo packet upstairs, cos was practically dying of dehydration.

then when intermission was over, pooni, shafali and her friends joined the rest of the whole group of performers at the gallery. the hindi and tamil medley was good, and the singers looked really vibrant and talented. yay singers! :D

and the main highlight of the concert item : THE DRAMA. i would say it was a huge success. jokes that we rg people didnt find funny during rehearsals made the audience laugh a great deal, which is a really good thing. the kaathal yaanai varugira remo scene, the raghupathi raghava scene, the valayapatti dance, everything was perfect. and avpa people, the songs timing were really good! welllllll done to the drama cast for such an awesome splendid heartening performance:

LAVANYA KUMARESH
NAGEISWARI PARATHY
ARTHI PREMKUMAR
A.AARTHI (you absolutely rocked the stage, buddy!)
SMRITHI KEERTHIVARMAN
NIVRUTHI PRASAD
SHYAMA SADASHIV
K SOWNDARYA

haha and throughout the whole drama i was translating to shafali cos i've watched the drama like so many times, and she was like laughing like anything. see, even non-tamil speaking people LOVED the drama, that shows how much you guys rocked man! even MRS SHIRLEY TAN was laughing heartily as mentioned by aarthi!

oh and then the valayapathi dance, which rocked. by then i'd informed all the performers in the gallery to rush down immediately when the scholars started dancing. yay good, people didnt procrastinate and rushed down on time. then i arranged the people, and was like super stressed cos i was not sure whether everybody knew what to do, esp ino's performers cos we didnt practice curtain call the day before. had a difficult time splitting up ino performers, cos each side was like more uneven than the other. but in the end, we pulled off and AMAZING curtain call.

after which, was ramyia's vote of thanks. we were all like so happy and we cheered for everybody. at the end, everyone felt like doing raffles cheers as a symbolism to close the programme. i dont know how or why but everytime we make a success, it's just rather impulsive on us to cheer and celebrate and let raffles be part of us. i guess it's just the culture and unique school spirit that each and every one of us hold. yeah, did unite, regardless of the fact that we were all in our costumes and all. it was impactful, as always. (:

so after the cheers, were all the hugging, 'we did it' 'it was so great' 'man you rocked the stage' and all those exclaimings. (: and PHOTO TAKING! :D or rather camwhoring. haha yeah and then took a family photo with amma, appa, kanages and me :D kanages left with appa earlier, and i came home with amma. gave up waiting for the bus and cabbed home cos i was really really tired, cos i didnt sleep well the night before as well cos too excited anticipating the show.

and everything was over. how i miss kalachitra so much. how i miss the rehearsal sessions so much. how i miss the 'come on you can do better' naggings. everything just showcased us.

and if i would want another day for history to repeat itself in, it would definitely definitely be 5th July 08. I really want an encore, and really hope we can have another exciting show next year.

and i really love RGSICS as much as others do. (:

boo. my life's updates.

progress report collection : results sucked. but He answered my prayers by not giving me something real real bad. PRAISE THE LORD! :D but i guess i deserve those stuff in the report. comments were good, surprisingly. oh well, another bucking up mugathon for semester 2.

open house 08! : SATURDAY, TMR! really tiring manning booths and all, shift after shift. anyway, it's a die die must to visit the LIT booth, at the hut opposite the pavilion from 9AM TO 11AM. That is if you want to see ME, AARTHI, SHYAMA[who's relieving nisha], and RUOXI beyond recognition :D

sangamam 08 : actually i dint quite wanted to go for sangamam :X but since batchmates are going, maybe i should just go. (: we all expect some really cool and professional thing haha :D well going to aarthi's house, shower change and everything, then go for sangamam. gonna be tiring after open house, but it's okay cos it's alr the holidays! :D


boo update done. till next time, bye :D

She strode over to her, sitting under the tree weeping silently to herself.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" she asked, curiosity taking over her mind.

"I'm crying, can't you see?" snapping at her, rubbing her eyes in frustration, a vain attempt to stop the tears from flowing.

"But, you're not supposed to," she reasoned.

"Well then here I am revealing whatever emaotions that I have inside of me. What do you have to say about that?" she cried out, hoping that somehow, some of the frustration and anger would disappear.

"But, you're not supposed to."

"I only show what others expect to see. I have to be strong. But somehow, the strength is fading away. Slowly, but surely."

"But you're not supposed to."

"I can't go on with this facade anymore! I can't live up to everyone's expecations, I can't live up to my expectations. I can't even control my emotions, my false facade. The mask is fading. I'm letting the act drop down on me now, and forever."

"But you're not supposed to," she smiled, tears running down her cheeks, "I'm absolutely sure you can do it, that you still can keep it up."

"But HOW?!" she shrieked, "How would you know the feeling of being let down by yourself? The hopelessness of it, the pain. Knowing that the firm wall you've built around yourself is not crumbling away with your resolve?"

"Because," she smiled again, but she lowered her head such that her bangs shadowed her eyes, "You remind me of someone. Someone, like me."

- got from jinghan's blog.


see the irony. the paradox. the ambivalence of it all.

because you were not supposed to.


---

i dont know why it is all happening. when i thought i've already become so numb to all those.

i have to chiong alot of stuff, alot of deadlines to meet. i cant start on anything now, now that my mind is all occupied.

everything's making me addlepated, and i'm like a little kid lost in the middle of a huge shopping centre, with everyone else jostling you, while you stand there confused and looking for your mother at the brim of tears.

i cant seem to sort out where my priorities lie. i cant seem to understand why am i thinking so much of those small little pebbles, when i have way much larger boulders to care about.

it's like really challenging to put on an all jovial face on the outside and talking crap and making people laugh, but inside everything else is scarred. everything is dark. and gloomy. but i guess, it's a matter of getting numb to it. getting numb to it all.

it's like the whole world is crashing. what's the use of my purpose here on this earth, when you feel like a total waste? a total loser? what's the use of my existence then;

i know i shouldnt be questioning all this, i shouldnt be so pessimistic. Cos He does everything for a purpose. but i dont think i have a choice or perhaps i actually do.

i'm on the verge of breaking down any moment.

please, dont ask.

heyyos people. yeah i know i can see the blog's pretty dormant, so time for an update yeah :D

okay mother's day dedication post :D

haha okay to start with, i was watching mannan yesterday, and got so inspired by the touching song, and so which was the reason for my msn nick. and dear MULTI-LINGUIST ria, was curious of what it meant, and it became a languages translating session. here you go! :D

TAMIL[original]
amma enrazhaikkadha uyirillaiyae, ammavai vanangaadhu uyarvillaiye;

naeril nindru paesum dheyvam;

ENGLISH
there's no life [as in nobody] in this earth who doesnt call mother, there's nobody in this universe who doesnt 'worship' the mother;

[mother is] a person who's in the form of god;

URDU
duniya mein aisa koyi shaqs nahi jo maa ko aawaaz na deta ho ho, saari qayanat mein aisa nahi jo maa ki ibaadat na karta ho;

maa khuda ka doosra roop hota hai;

HINDI
sansaar mein us prakar ka koyi nahi hai jo apni mata ko bulata na ho, sarvatr antariksh mein aisa vyakti nahi jo maa ki pooja na karta ho;

maa saakshaat ishwar hoti hai;

BENGALI
jogoth-e emon keyo na je maa-ke daake na, pooro bishsho, aar orchhe aage, emon lok paabena je maa ke pronaam kore na;

maa holo bhogobaan-er onno roop;


yeah, that's about it for the translation. credits once again to RIA! :D


went googling on mothers day and stuff, out of boredom. came across a few really good meaningful stuff. one that i liked most. i mean, it really really makes alot of sense. like how often do you see your mum crying and stuff? okay here you go:

WHY MOTHERS CRY

"Why are you crying?" he asked his mom.

"Because I'm a mother," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said.

His mom just hugged him and said, "You never will!"

Later the little boy asked his father why Mother seemed to cry for no reason.

"All mothers cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why mothers cry. So he finally put in a call to God and when God got on the phone the man said, "God, why do mothers cry so easily."

God said, "You see son, when I made mothersthey had to be special.

I made their shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave them an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times come from their children.

I gave them a hardiness that allows them to keep going when everyone else gives up, and to take care of their families through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave them the sensitivity to love their children under all circumstances, even when their child has hurt them very badly.

This same sensitivity helps them to make a child's boo-boo feel better and helps them share a teenager's anxieties and fears.

I gave them a tear to shed. It's theirs exclusively to use whenever it's needed. It's their only weakness.

It's a tear for mankind.


well, now you know why mothers cry. it's like sometimes you get really pissed off with all the nagging and just feel like yelling to shut up[well, it happens for me].but thinking about it, it's all for our own well-being and stuff. really, i think mothers are defintely the most greatest beings, next to God, ever existent on this earth. they are truly miracles which IS the reason why God chose them to be our mothers.

amma, i love you. <3

it's at this time when you regret, looking back. regret that you've slacked so much. regret that you could have spent less time sleeping (in class). regret that you've only gotten, and never give. regret that you've wasted your time away. regret that you've wasted your life away.

oh why does time pass so fast. i looked at the mya schedule, and was like, "IT'S HALF A YEAR ALR". and looking back at my previous posts, or my new year resolution of working real hard this year, i feel like a waste. i feel like a loser. i lack self-discipline, self-focus.

i'm not particularly referring to mya. loads of other stuff has been happening too. i need the strength to get through all these. no, not physical strength, but mental strength.

and, i'm on the verge of breaking down any moment.

oh, and please i don't want to talk about it.

Labels: mental strength, strength

i learnt a lesson recently.

hard work doesnt always reap good results. sometimes, you work so hard, and then nobody seems to appreciate what you've down and you realised what you have worked hard or, what you really really wanted, all has gone to waste. i'm refering to a particular thing that happened recently.

i dont wish to elaborate. you guys know what i mean.

---

anyway, good luck for sorkalam debators. we are sure gonna rock down sorkalam, yeah? :D and even if we dont get in to the finals, dont feel sad, cos we all know how hard you guys have prepared for, and reaching the semi-finals stage that will be telecasted on tv is really a big big honour for both the school and you guys. so, go give it your best! :D

cleared tribune cupboard with karen, yuqing, julia, selene and pam today. saw this piece of paper, which contains alot of meaning.an abstract of it :
[italised some stuff, that i feel strongly about.]

Lord,
Because love is patient...
Help me to be slow to judge, but quick to listen.
Hesitant to criticise, but eager to encourage, remembering your endless patience with me.

Because love is kind...
Help me to be gentle and my actions to be thoughtful.
Remind me to simle and to say "Please" and "Thank You" because those little things still mean so much.

Because love does not envy or boast, and it is not proud...
Help me have a heart that is humble and sees the good in others.
May I celebrate and appreciate all that I have and all that I am, as well as doing the same for those around me.

Because love is not rude or self-seeking...
Help me to speak words that are easy on the ear and on the heart.
When I'm tempted to get wrapped up in my own little world, remind me there's a big world out there full of needs and hurts.

Because love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs...
Help me to forgive others as you have forgiven me.
When I want to hold onto a grudge, gently help me release it so I can reach out with a hand of love instead.

Bcause love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth...
Help me stand up for what is right and good.
May I defencd the defenseless and help the helpless. Show me how I can make a differece.

Because love always protects and always trusts...
Help me to be a refuge for those around me.
When the world outside is harsh and cold, may my heart be a place of acceptance and warmth.

Finally because love always perseveres...
Help my heart continually beat with love for You and others. Thank you for showing me what the word really means. Amen


I think it's a really good one. Means really alot. Go reflect, and you'll get what I mean. :D

oh and a quote

"my brain is like a drawer. need to sort it out at times" - long jian. [at least he said something like this] haha i think it's a cute analogy though.


and yeah, my life needs some serious sorting up and arranging too, now that it's super screwed. with alot of stuff.