Adapted from an excuse letter that Vicky is gonna produce to her FT when she returns back to school on Tuesday.

"Dear Mr De Souza,

Humans are not perfect beings. As you know, the innately selfish nature of human beings has led to disagreements at every level, leading from mere difference of opinions to full-blown war. Such one-sided disagreements also exist in common familial units. Often, though, these "disagreements" are not actually disagreements, but mere quarrels due to the entire fault of one party, oftentimes in which the underlying factor for the disagreements are overlooked.

It all started on a fine Sunday night. Being the conscientious Biology student I am, I was revising my Biology notes for the 22nd time that day. I was calmly and quietly using the computer checking out Moodle andthe Berkeley Evolution 101 website awhen my brat of a younger sister came up to me and pulled my hair. I was super annoyed and asked her why she did that. She then proceeded to throw a tantrum because she did not understand her Integrated Science notes. I then explained to her very calmly and patiently what her notes meant, having been taught by the great Mr De Souza. After what seemed like eons, she finally understood. But being jealous of being deprived the chance to be a student of yours, she wasn't a singly ounce thankful to me! She slapped me on the face, which hurt so much that I decided to stay home from school today to avoid speculations. Due to the presence of 1800 girls and no boys, gossip is a widely-indulged-in pastime in RGS, and I would not want anyone to think that my boyfriend was abusing me.

I hope you understand my situation, but at this junction, I must reiterate that this was not my fault. The fault lies in the incompetency, for whatever reason, for the rest of the Biology department. Perhaps, this may not even be incompetency but just that any small flaw in their teaching style is magnified a thousand times when compared to your brilliant teaching abilities. Wait a moment, brilliant is an understatement. Words cannot describe the greatness of your teaching skills. See, yet again I failed at doing so.

All in all, I hope you will excuse me from my absence from school on the 5th of October, 2009. This is because it was not my fault, but of that of the biology department and your greatness. In my appreciation for your greatness, and also to make up for my deeply-felt absence on your behalf, I would like to inform you that if it were in my hands, I would nominate you for the Nobel Prize in Biology. For after all, what contribution to science is greater than ensuring its perpetuation and lighting the spark of curiosity in the future of tomorrow?

That being said, your colleagues also deserve a Nobel Prize - but the Ig Nobel Prize, not the "real deal". Perhaps, upon reception of this mockery of science, they would realise the great psychological impact of their teachings on their students (as can be seen by my sister's sad situation) and aspire to replicate your style perfectly.

I wish you a very happy invigilating and even happier marking days. It pains my heart that while us students will be resting at home, you will be marking dozens of scripts. However, I am helpless to change this situation, so I can only hope that with your optimistic nature, you manage to find a bright side in this too.

Have a great day ahead!

Cheers,
Darwin's descendant,
Vicky

PS: No offense to any party or whatsoever is intended."


OMG HAHA, KINNARI, YOU'RE DAMN HILARIOUS LUH!(:

Three words that have made it up to my SUCKtitude list as of today:
1) Housework
2) Sick
3) DAD

This pretty much sums up my day.

I better buck up my Bio and Geog.

XOXO,
vicky